When We Talk About Love

We are also talking about justice and about resistance

I believe my life is a satellite orbiting around the planet of love. That is to say that I believe love is the mission and the purpose of my being, the focus of which I am meant to learn my lessons. It’s the lens through which I see. The stuff from which I derive meaning. It’s an amorphous thing, and gargantuan.

I’ve been thinking about love as its parts, trying to identify the facets of it to get to know it better, nurture it better. When I say facets, I’m thinking about platonic love, romantic love, self-love, love of place, etc. One facet has been requesting much of my attention is love for humankind. The love allotted to the faceless, those we’ll never personally meet, never have a name for. Love for the person we cannot fully know, understand, or grow familiar with.

How does a person experience and also express love for the collective? How can we love the them, which we cannot speak to? I expect many find this answer in volunteer work, activism, protest, and other change-making actions that contribute to the greater good. Yet, despite these actions having love at the core, they have been chronically misunderstood and misattributed. Refusal, rebellion, and opposition are often viewed negatively in the wider scope. The United States, in particular, struggles to take in the nuance of any behavior that isn’t lawful, orderly, and patriotic in a purely red-white-and-blue kind of way. I align more with Baldwin: “I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually”.

For 2023, ASALH chose the theme of this Black History Month to be “Black Resistance”. ASALH posted, “The 1950s and 1970s in the United States was defined by actions such as sit-ins, boycotts, walk outs, strikes by Black people and white allies in the fight for justice against discrimination in all sectors of society from employment to education to housing. Black people have had to consistently push the United States to live up to its ideals of freedom, liberty, and justice for all.” Can we understand and define a love for humankind that allows for swift movement, and even force? Can we demonstrate and receive love by saying, “No longer can things be this way”? Yes. I think we must.

The emotion of anger is one that is often disavowed, often viewed as incompatible with mindful and peaceful living. But, as demonstrations progress in the name of Tyre Nichols and the outrage about his murder at the hands of police, I am shown, again, how anger can be a manifestation of empathy and a demand for necessary boundaries.

When I think about Stonewall. When I think about the ways in which we must show politicians that we will not idly stand by as they spew their anti-queer, anti-trans rhetoric. That they will never succeed in making transness illegal, even if they were to pass every hateful law they have put forth. When I think of how many lives are political, just for having the audacity to exist. Can anger not be a worthy teacher?

When we talk about loving humanity, we are also talking about grieving humanity. When we talk about caring for our fellow humans, we are also talking about experiencing tremendous pain. Our views on humanity are dialectical, and thus our love for it must be, too. Each day, it seems there is a new terror, a new reason to be afraid of other humans. Yet, every human being who makes themself a terror to others is outnumbered by humans who help, humans who rebel just through the mere act of surviving.

I recently watched the film, Benediction, which followed the life of war poet Siegfried Sassoon. His work is described as angry and compassionate. Reading his words, I would describe his perspective, above all else, as honest. As loving. Deeply critical. Devoid of the rose-colored hue of the trite themes so often attributed to the gruesome act of warfare—honor, glory, heroism—Sassoon was not able to veil the sheer brutality of what he witnessed, even if he had wanted to. He refused to lie to the reader, no matter who that reader was.

I am making this statement as an act of wilful defiance of military authority, because I believe the war is being deliberately prolonged by those who have the power to end it.

I am a soldier, convinced that I am acting on behalf of soldiers. I believe that this war, upon which I entered as a war of defence and liberation has now become a war of aggression and conquest. I believe that the purposes for which I and my fellow soldiers entered upon this war should have been so clearly stated as to have made it impossible to change them, and that, had this been done, the objects witch actuated us would now be attainable by negotiation.

I have seen and endured the suffering of the troops, and I can no longer be a party to prolong these sufferings for ends which I believe to be evil and unjust. I am not protesting against the conduct of the war, but against the political errors and insincerity's for which the fighting men are being sacrificed.

On behalf of those who are suffering now I make this protest against the deception which is being practised on them; also I believe that I may help to destroy the callous complacence with which the majority of those at home regard the continuance of agonies which they do not share, and which they have not sufficient imagination to realise.

— Sassoon's protest, "A Soldier's Declaration," written on June 15, 1917

I can’t stop thinking about this letter. I can’t stop thinking about how poorly received this letter was at the time, and how, historically, so many souls have been manipulated by placing love for country above love for fellow man. For me, it has been important to remember that corrupted systems do not always equate to corrupted individuals. That our systems are often built on classism, racism, and other violent -isms, but I cannot view other human beings as the systems we all have had to live with.

To make my ramblings more succinct: systems of power do not care for us, so we must find the means to care for each other.

Journal Prompts

✶ What helps me connect with humanity?

✶ How do I like to express my love for mankind?

✶ Complete the sentence: If I were feeling connected with the world at-large, I would…

Tyre Nichols was named in this letter. Let me also say these names, though this list is incomplete:

Aaron Bailey Abner Louima Abram Smith Adrian Medearis Ahmaud Arbery Aiyana Stanley-Jones Akai Gurley Albert Joseph Davis Albert Woodfox Alberta Spruill Alexia Christian Alonzo Smith Alteria Woods Alton Sterling Amadou Diallo Amanda Milan Amber Monroe Anarcha (last name unknown) Andrew Wright Anthony Anderson Anthony Ashford Anthony Hill Anthony Lamar Smith Antron McCray Antronie Scott Antwon Rose Jr. Arminta Cobb Arthur McDuffie Ashanti Carmon Ashton O’Hara Asshams Pharoah Manley Atatiana Jefferson Benjamin Chavis Bennie Lee Tignor Betsey (last name unknown) Bettie Jones Billy Ray Davis Bobby Hutton Botham Jean Brendon Glenn Brian Keith Day Breonna Taylor Brooklyn Lindsey Calin Roquemore Cariol Horne Carter Howard Chanelle Pickett Charleena Lyles Charles Bruce Charles Greenlee Charles Kinsey Charles Lang Charles Weems Charlie Pollard Christian Cooper Christian Taylor Christopher S. Brown Christopher Davis Christopher McCorvey Christopher Whitfield Claire Legato Clarence Norris Claude Neal Claude Reese Clementa Pinckney Clifford Glover Connie Tindall Corey Jones Cornelius Fredericks Cynthia Hurd Dana Martin Daniel Simmons Danny Ray Thomas Danroy “DJ” Henry Jr. Dante Parker Danye Jones Darius Robinson Darrius Stewart David Joseph David McAtee Deborah Danner Decynthia Clements DeeNiquia Dodds Dejuan Hall Delrawn Small Demarcus Semer Demetrius Bryan Hollins DePayne Middleton-Doctor Derrick Scott Diamond Bradley Dominic Hutchinson Dominique Fells Dominique Clayton Donald Ivy Dontre Hamilton Dravon Ames Dreasjon Reed Duane Wight Dyzhawn Perkins Edmund Perry Eleanor Bumpurs Elijah McClain Elisha Walker Emmett Till Eric Garner Eric Courtney Harris Eric Reason Ernest Green Ernest Hendon Ernest Thomas Ethel Lee Lance Eugene Williams Ezell Ford Fannie Lou Hamer Felix Kumi Floyd Dent Frank Smart Frankie Perkins Fred Hampton Fred Simmons Freddie Blue Freddie Gray Freddie Lee Tyson Frederick Moss Frederick Taft George Floyd George Key George Mann George Stinney Jr. Gregory Riley George RobinsonHarvey E. Clark Jr. Hayes Turner Haywood Patterson Henrietta Lacks Herman Wallace Herman Shaw Iesha Harper India Kager Isadore Banks Jacob Blake Jacqueline Craig Jaisha Akins Jamal Williams Jamar Clark Jamel Floyd James Cobb, Sr. James "Bun" McKoy James Byrd Jr. James Cameron James Chaney James Mincey Jr. James Powell Janet Wilson Janine Africa Javier Ambler Jazzaline Ware Jemel Roberson Jerame Reid Jerry Dwight Brown Jerry Jacobs John Crawford III Johnnie Jermaine Rush Jonathan Ferrell Jonathan Sanders Jordan Davis Jordan Edwards Joseph Mann Joyce Curnell Julian Edward Roosevelt Lewis Junior Prosper Justus Howell Kaia Rolle Kalief Browder Kathryn Johnston Kayla Moore Keith Childress Jr. Keith Harrison McLeod Keith Scott Kendrec McDade Kendrick Johnson Kenne McFadden Kevin Hicks Kevin Matthews Kevin Richardson Kisha Michael Kiwi Herring Korey Wise Korryn Gaines La’Vante Biggs Lamontez Jones Laquan McDonald LaTanya Haggerty Latasha Harlins Lateisha Green LaVena Johnson Lennon Lacy Leroy Wright Lionel Morris Lucy (last name unknown) Malaika Brooks Malcolm Harsch Malissa Williams Manuel Ellis Marco Loud Mario Woods Mark Clark Marshall H. Dunbar Marvin "Chili" Patrick Mary Truxillo Mary Turner and her unborn child Matilda Heslip Matthew Ajibade Maurice Gordon MeShon Cooper Michael Brown Michael George Smith, Jr. Michael Lee Marshall Michael Lorenzo Dean Michael Noel Michael Sabbie Michael Stewart Michelle Cusseaux Michelle Shirley Michelle Washington Miguel Espinal Miriam Carey Monika Diamond Muhlaysia Booker Mya Hall Myra Thompson Nania Cain Jr. Natasha McKenna Nathaniel Harris Pickett Nia Wilson Nina Pop Nizah Morris Oluwatoyin Salau Oscar Grant Otis “Titi” Gulley Otis Byrd Ozie Powell Pamela Turner Paterson Brown Paul O’Neal Pearlie Golden Peter Gaines Philando Castile Phillip White Prince C. Jones, Jr. Quintonio LeGrier Raheim Brown Ralkina Jones Ramarley Graham Ramona Africa Randolph Evans Randy Nelson Raymond Santana Rayshard Brooks Recy Taylor Reginald Epps Rekia Boyd Renisha McBride Riah Milton Richard Collins III Richard Perkins Rita Hester Robert Fuller Robert King Robert Russ Rodney King Ronell Foster Rumain Brisbon Safiya Satchell Saheed Vassell Salecia Johnson Salvado Ellswood Sam Doner Samuel DuBose Samuel Shepherd Sandra Bland Sean Bell Secoriea Turner Sharonda Coleman-Singleton Sheffield Collins Shereese Francis Steven Taylor Stephon Clark Sterling Higgins Susie Jackson Sylville Smith Taemon Blair Tamir Rice Tanisha Anderson Tarika Wilson Terence Crutcher Terrance Franklin Terrill Thomas Thomas Shipp Timothy Coggins Tionda Bradley Tony McDade Tony Terrell Robinson Jr. Torrey Robinson Trayvon Martin Troy Robinson Tyre King Tyree Crawford Tyrone West Tyshawn Lee Tywanza Sanders Victor Manuel Larosa Walter Irvin Walter McMillian Walter Scott Wayne Moore Wendell Celestine Willa Bruce William "Joe" Wright, Jr. William Chapman II Willie Earl Vereen Willie Jones Jr. Willie Roberson Willie Tillman Williemae Mack Winfred Rembert Yusef Salaam Yvette Smith Yvonne Smallwood Zella Ziona

Read their stories here.

Author’s Note: This piece was originally written in February 2023, which unfortunately means that this list of names is even more incomplete now than when this was written.